![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Oct. 4th, 2002
Two, no, Three things.
Oct. 4th, 2002 12:05 pmI am off to get some tasty clam or corn chowder in Harvard Sq.
I will return and work on things for my mage game tonight.
And I will begin committing some heavy thoughts to my journal. What, heavy thoughts? You? SILENCE!!!
I have a short attention span at times, and lots of deeply ingrained negative thoughts. These thoughts weren't born there, they were implanted and accepted by myself. Many a conversation has turned them up and exposed them. Many a day I puzzled through them and addressed them, turned them over like a doctor examining a corpse. I poked and prodded and cut and exhumed. Many times I came up with good answers. I found problem and pinned them to the table, wet and glistening, and affixed labels to them. I came up with procedures and plans of attack.
Then I'd go to bed and promptly forget it all. Well, to hell with that.
I'm going to write them down here, and study them. I'll see what I need to do change and remind myself of it every day. I will learn new lessons to overwrite the old ones, grow new healthy organs to replace those long atrophied or diseased. If I can accept negative comments, I can accept positive ones too. And I will also relax, which is key point in letting such lessons sink in. Discipline and relaxation, yin and yang, vodka and OJ. It takes both.
Ahem. That was my stomach, not so patiently reminding me that I need to feed it, or I won't be growing ANYthing. Later!
I will return and work on things for my mage game tonight.
And I will begin committing some heavy thoughts to my journal. What, heavy thoughts? You? SILENCE!!!
I have a short attention span at times, and lots of deeply ingrained negative thoughts. These thoughts weren't born there, they were implanted and accepted by myself. Many a conversation has turned them up and exposed them. Many a day I puzzled through them and addressed them, turned them over like a doctor examining a corpse. I poked and prodded and cut and exhumed. Many times I came up with good answers. I found problem and pinned them to the table, wet and glistening, and affixed labels to them. I came up with procedures and plans of attack.
Then I'd go to bed and promptly forget it all. Well, to hell with that.
I'm going to write them down here, and study them. I'll see what I need to do change and remind myself of it every day. I will learn new lessons to overwrite the old ones, grow new healthy organs to replace those long atrophied or diseased. If I can accept negative comments, I can accept positive ones too. And I will also relax, which is key point in letting such lessons sink in. Discipline and relaxation, yin and yang, vodka and OJ. It takes both.
Ahem. That was my stomach, not so patiently reminding me that I need to feed it, or I won't be growing ANYthing. Later!
