Is it that you are working - or even playing too hard? because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behavior ... ... .
You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going.. but need to find a person who will recognize the way you are ... not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, "Simpatico".
In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence...and there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realize that you will have to make the best of things as they are.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".
The need for admiration and to be regarded as "someone special" is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognized as someone special.. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfill this "complex" by ensuring you are the center of attention, both at work or play ... or in the home. Stop trying so hard... and you will find that people will like you for who you are ... not for who you are pretending to be....
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