(no subject)

[jchrisobrien]

or, How the rest of my trip is going.

I think the best part of my day was getting lunch. And even the bangers were dry.

First game v. dwarves. I get three flank charges off and fail to wound at all. 2 of the flankers are later broken ard run down. I only hit about 15% of the time.
Second game I win by capture all six objectives. My opponent is a woman who's played all of 2 times. All the satisfaction of winning is drained out of the game.
Third game v. dwarves again, and AGAIN my dice fail me. And his save him.
Fourth, game v. vampire counts. I watch myself get outfought, out magiced, out rolled.
I'm almost crying on the way home. All the pain is leaking over into different areas of my life.
I could just quit the tournament and drive home tomorrow, but that would give me 0% chance
of doing better. As opposed to the 1% chance I have now. I should probably be playing
the bottom of the rung people now you'd think id win but the dice will always betray me and now i
im typing on this shitty small imac keyboard this computer is crap. I can look forward to
coming home and feeling miserable,
then again on tuesday
and again on wednesday
I can't fathom how some of you people can always be happy. Do you know how lucky you are?
all of you? Some of you do realize it, and I'll envy you to the end of my days.
I can't stop writing embarassing things here.
I can't just let me feelings go
Im stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stucksstuckstuck
Make it stop
make it go away
goaway
away
away

Comments

[alex-victory.livejournal.com]

i bet i can out-misery you

[cosmicserpent.livejournal.com]

That's the attitude you want! And Silas, we're not always happy. We just tend to have a knack for letting things slide off us like oil. Life's to short to spend most of it wallowing... I get upset, sad, mad, whatever and move on. I'm not sure how to replicate that for others though...

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see how you do it. How anyone can just not care, or not let things bother them. When you
you know the same bad crap is going to happen over and over again, and nothin you do can
change it.

[silas7.livejournal.com]

I'd say we are in about the same boat overall.

[aidenraine.livejournal.com]

Being manic depressive I know how you feel... I don't understand the constant happy thing either- it's never been me.

I hope you feel a little better when you read this. :/

*hug*

I'll make you play Aqua Aqua with me. You'll be powerless to resist the charm of the primary colored big-eyed cartoons.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm tired and cold inside, but thanks for the well wishes. *hug*

How I cope... how I deal... how I can smile...

[clayrobeson.livejournal.com]

The one thing that Improv has taught me is that today is tomorrow's toilet paper. Don't save it. Once tomorrow is here, let it flush, and start again fresh. No history, no residue, no rememberances.

Unlike real armies, your miniatures can't be demoralized by a loss. Only you can. That means the THEY start every battle with the same go-gettum attitude. It's only you who can feel the teatering of fear or the passion of bloodlust.

It's not an easy thing to do, but you just have to remember that it's all about starting each day fresh. Remember yesterday only in as much as you'd remember a good dump. But don't hang on to it. Learn it's lessons (too much tobasco!) and move on.

Not reassuring, I know. But it works for me when I'm not being all whiney and wallowing in the 'no one loves me' moods.

Oh, and take your dice out onto the sidewalk and smash them all with the hammer then get new ones.

Re: How I cope... how I deal... how I can smile...

[silas7.livejournal.com]

Very interesting... very interesting.... I'd have more to say, but I'm reeling from my crack ingestion (3 bottles of Amp type stuff on the ride back! my head is loopy!)

Re: How I cope... how I deal... how I can smile...

[c-i.livejournal.com]

absolutely brilliant. you get a gold star. a crapping analogies get gold stars. yay!!

[c-i.livejournal.com]

hmmmm yes. this misery thing. i believe i have heard of it.

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

It's that old friend who keeps coming over after you've kiced them out! Misery and I are going to have to have a talking to, and soon...

[c-i.livejournal.com]

unfortunately lately i am the old friend that was kicked out that keeps returning. maybe i am misery or at least the misery spreader. i want to be the joy spreader.poopy

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

If you come to Boston, you will be the joy spreader! *holds up Buffy tapes...