We interrupt this journal entry...

[jchrisobrien]

A co-worker bought me a plastic goblet shaped like skull, on account of my being "so goth." I was going to go on about the irony of using it to wash down my dayquil with, when I got interrupted by the most annoying woman in our entire company. She is a data analyst, which bespeaks a certain intelligence or familiarity with computers. She's also the one who unleashed the NIMDA worm on our company. She says she double checked her system, and it's ready to go back on our network. I tell her no problem, just plug the network cable back into her computer and reboot.

"Can you show me how to do that?"

SWEET WOUNDED JESUS, WOMAN! IT'S A FUCKING NETWORK CABLE! THERE'S ONLY ONE FUCKING PLUG IN THE BACK OF THE COMPUTER IT COULD POSSIBLY PLUG INTO! ITS AS COMPLICATED AS PLUGGING A TOASTER INTO A WALL SOCKET! JUST FUCKING DO IT YOURSELF! I'VE GOT FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAT REQUIRE MY SKILL AND EXPERTISE, YOU'RE A GODDAMN COLLEGE GRADUATE WITH A COMPUTER DEGREE! PLUG IN THE FUCKING CORD!

Comments

Amazing

[illusorymagic.livejournal.com]

What, she didn't ask you to wipe for her, too?

See Spot Run...

[clayrobeson.livejournal.com]

See Jane. See Jane fuck up her computer. Fuck Jane, Fuck. See Jane go to Chris for help. "Help Chris, Help." See Chris beat Jane to within an inch of her worthless life with his new Skull Goblet. Kill Chris, Kill.

Re: See Spot Run...

[silas7.livejournal.com]

The best part of this is, I don't think her AV is working STILL. So she's going to reinfect our network again. In which case I will personally move to get her worthless ass fired, or force her to do all of her work on a DOS computer.

I think every programmer, data analyst, ANYone who makes their living with a computer should have a BASIC understanding of their operating system and computer. For those of you who do, I tip my hat to you. For those of you who don't (which is probably nobody reading this regularly)... *waves skull goblet meanacingly*

And by basic, I mean you know what things plug in where, and to reboot the computer as a first troubleshooting step.

Sheesh.

Re: See Spot Run...

[clayrobeson.livejournal.com]

Finally, after about 3 years, I actually have most of my field personnel trained to reboot before they call me. :)

Of course with the turnover in this industry it's difficult to KEEP everyone doing that.

Sigh

hrm,

[marveloustoy.livejournal.com]

force her to run BSD.

Actually, next time I see you I have a diagram you can give to her. It explains what a power cable is and how to plug it in, what an ethernet cable is, and how to plug it in, and what a monitor is and how to turn it on. Sadly, it's been very useful over the years.

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

can you come over and help us program our vcr? i think it has a virus.

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

Sure! Just put in this video tape that says "VCR anti-virus." Play the tape (it will take about 6 hours), then eject it, and reboot your VCR. You should be as good as gold.

[alex-victory.livejournal.com]

You've inspired me to post some entries from my hall of shame, check my latest entry.

Where do you work exactly? I know you're down here in the financial district somewhere, right?

[silas7.livejournal.com]

Neighborhood Health Plan,
253 Summer St, Boston.

Just across the bridge from South Station...

First, grab plug with right hand...

[damiel.livejournal.com]

Now, now, Silas, be nice. Don't let me hear that you refused to teach a lady how to use her plugs.

Re: First, grab plug with right hand...

[silas7.livejournal.com]

This lady would absolutely need help with her plugs. It astounds me that she is a mother. Fortunately, I will not be the one to instruct her in such things...