How do I say this?

[jchrisobrien]

I'm taking a break from the scene. No more club nights for me, probably for about 2 1/2 weeks. If I feel a compelling urge to dance, maybe I'll try Phoenix Landing or even God help me the hip hop club at the Hong Kong. But the Goth nights are out. They're poisonous to me right now. Too many self important people in them. Too many people who shrink away from eye contact. Too many others who shine far brighter. That's probably the bigger of the two issues.

I've been told by several people that the clubs are horrible places to meet people, and that lately I tend to go there with the expectation of hooking up, instead of dancing. It's been suggested by more than one person that I need to broaden my interests or try different clubs in Boston for meeting people. Go to art showings, museums, theaters, leave the ratty club world behind.

There's a fundamental flaw in their logic. If going to the club to meet new people is "looking too much" or "trying to hard", how is going to a different location FOR THE SAME REASON any different? I could start going to Bill's Bar or the Enormous Room, but it's not because I like those places. It would be to meet non-Goth type folk, with the purpose of finding an interest. The same activity, with a different crowd. I also don't want to go to clubs with crappy house or hip hop (which I don't identify with at all) just so I can meet new people with whom I will have little in common. Yes, I still identify with a culture, and I like to go to the clubs with the music and fashion that I like. If you've grown out of your Goth faze and turn your nose up at the scene, hey, pat yourself on the back. Some of us still enjoy it, and like to go there. Except of course, when we don't enjoy it. But for different reasons.

My moods shift pretty quickly, but I'm going to try to hold to not going out, at least until Hell. I might try a few other clubs, or I'll stay home for a couple of weeks and watch movies or read. Because there's another reason for not wanting to go to the clubs. Which I'll get to in a moment.

Comments

[loxocele.livejournal.com]

hey silas - listen to this one, she's got good advice :)

totally avoiding the issues of "going out looking" and "goth vs. not" for the moment [because i think people have raised good points, i just don't have anything concise to add at the moment], have you considered checking out *other* goth scenes? Andrea tried out Ceremony, which was new to her; have you thought about checking out the western mass goth scene, or the providence one, or maybe even hartford? they're all more of a drive, but you're lucky enough to have a car, so they're all within reach. perhaps being in a new environment - where you can experiment with different approaches, or different takes on yourself, and where you can't chart out the sexual history of everyone in the room - will help you relax and enjoy things more.

and as for you, ms. dirtyknees - this:

During my first real conversation with Fred, I was pretty obnoxious to him (something like, "You're not a goth at all - what the fuck are you doing here?"

made me laugh my ass off :) i'm so glad that story developed the way it has :)

[silas7.livejournal.com]

Those other scenes could be a possibility, if I have an all consuming need to hear Front Line Assembly and the like. Maybe I will accompany Jordan on a trip on Tuesdays. I hope to hit at least one non-goth club in Boston during my time away.

Is Defmatch still going on? Anitya?

Wednesday options for you

[cris.livejournal.com]

Defmatch is still on hiatus and looking for a new home. The Phoenix isn't bad, but it's tiny. I'm curious about Circulate at An Tua Nua (it's house, breaks, techno, etc.), so if you want to check it out sometime with a familiar face, let me know. Also, Deftly-D (former High Voltage Circumcision and Boston Society of Mechanics) has started up a new noise/industrial night in Lowell on Wednesdays called Lumen Flux and that's probably less of a haul than Worcester or Hartford.

Re: Wednesday options for you

[silas7.livejournal.com]

I think we could give Circulate a shot next week!