Sex orgies. In my front yard. No joke.

[jchrisobrien]

The things you see when you don't go to Manray.

I'm driving home with toothpaste and deoderant, and a car is halfway blocking my drive way. Being the driver with the mad skills, I maneuver around it and park. I mutter to myself about lame ass drivers, but then get over it and come inside. Except I notice people in the car. And the people are making out!

For a second, I think it's my landlord and his girlfriend who couldn't be bothered to wait to get inside. I do hear their moans occasionally from the downstairs. Hell, I'm happy for him, he's been single longer than I have, he deserves to have his fun. But it's not the landlord, it's two complete strangers. I'll spare you the play by play, but there were going to town. Switching positions and everything.

My neighbor and I walk around the car. No response. I walk behind it and take down their license plate. Nothing. I briefly think about knocking on their windshield, but eventually I grow bored and come inside. I must say it was one of the more non-erotic things I've seen.

The funniest part is, you can see them from our front porch. And they have a moon roof, so you can see more of the shocking play by play action.

This moment of vice sponsered by Aquafresh and Speed Stick, which prompted my trip in the first place.

Comments

ah nostalgia

[alonewiththemoon]

When I lived in Chicago, one of the apartments I lived in was a first floor apartment with an alley alongside, at the edge of a Bad Neighborhood. Prostitutes used to bring their clients to our alley to conduct their business. None of us roommates would have really cared that much about it, except that typically the cars were kept running so we were woken up by the engine noise and our rooms were filled with exhaust. Calling the police didn't exactly help, because while the prostitutes and their clients were shooed away, the cops would then hang out and talk, car engines running... Eventually though after learning that people would call the cops, the prostitutes stopped using that alley.

Before prostitutes used the alley, murderers did--a dead body was found there a couple of months before I moved in. I was young and invincible though so I didn't care. Nobody really took over the alley after the prostitutes, so we and the rats were able to get good nights of sleep from then on.