Such a difference
Jun. 25th, 2002 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jchrisobriena few hours make.
It was a pretty crappy day, no doubt. That's what I was thinking when I walked into the gym. I stretched, put on my headphones, and cued up Front Line Assembly. Then I climbed onto the treadmill. I pushed the speed up a little, to better synch my running with the beat. It worked out rather well, I think I've been running a little too slowly. I pushed the weights another rep or two as well. The result? An endorphin high that lasted several hours. I capped it off with a homemade smoothie and some Sir Mixalot, and the evils of the day were purged. Purged I say!
When down moments come on me these days, it's doesn't even sound like the me I see in the mirror. It's the same old excuses and degrading comments I've been saying for years. Decades, even. But they don't even apply anymore. They were from a different place and time, far removed from the reality of the now. My body isn't the same. My mind isn't the same. My life is far different.
And I have some sweet new shorts!
It was a pretty crappy day, no doubt. That's what I was thinking when I walked into the gym. I stretched, put on my headphones, and cued up Front Line Assembly. Then I climbed onto the treadmill. I pushed the speed up a little, to better synch my running with the beat. It worked out rather well, I think I've been running a little too slowly. I pushed the weights another rep or two as well. The result? An endorphin high that lasted several hours. I capped it off with a homemade smoothie and some Sir Mixalot, and the evils of the day were purged. Purged I say!
When down moments come on me these days, it's doesn't even sound like the me I see in the mirror. It's the same old excuses and degrading comments I've been saying for years. Decades, even. But they don't even apply anymore. They were from a different place and time, far removed from the reality of the now. My body isn't the same. My mind isn't the same. My life is far different.
And I have some sweet new shorts!
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no subject
Date: 2002-06-25 08:34 pm (UTC)Hooray for shorts!
Re:
Date: 2002-06-26 06:09 am (UTC)Sometimes those one hit wonders just get stuck in your head and you love them, while others you just can't stand.
no subject
Date: 2002-06-25 10:15 pm (UTC)I should have insisted on that commission.
Heh...
Date: 2002-06-26 06:12 am (UTC)The only problem is that when we all go, we all gravitate towards the same... black... clothing... ;)
disection
Date: 2002-06-25 10:36 pm (UTC)the real darkness, not depression or sadness...thats just too easy. its a special catagory for the productive, good natured, who have way too much to offer but somehow end up smothering their own selves. i am basing this on my self and you were on my list. i dont mean this badly i swear.l i fuckin think the darkness is cool. embrace the darkness. it makes us live. it makes us move. it makes us kindred spirits.
Re: disection
Date: 2002-06-26 05:54 am (UTC)Re: disection
Date: 2002-06-26 06:24 am (UTC)The Dark Inside Me
Date: 2002-06-26 07:16 am (UTC)I fight against the things in the darkness. It's the struggle that makes me move. And I know you fight against it too. Sometimes it knocks us down and knocks us down, but battered and bloodied we get up again. Sometimes it blindsides us, and it really hurts. And I don't think the darkness will every really go away sometimes. There will always be doubts and fears. But I don't want to listen to them, or let them affect me. I am all sorts of good things. And if people can't see that, well, that's their loss.
Re: The Dark Inside Me
Date: 2002-06-26 10:41 pm (UTC)Re: The Dark Inside Me
Date: 2002-06-27 07:53 am (UTC)