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[jchrisobrien]

Do you give up on hobbies when they aren't fun anymore?
Or is the fact you aren't having fun part of a bigger problem?

I won't be StoryTelling for the VHS in the fall.
I may not be continuing my mage game, which I still don't have a good idea for tonight.
Nothing that flows.

My gaming experiences as a player have all sucked ass lately.
Womped at cards again last night.

I'm sick of it.
Sick.

Comments

[alex-victory.livejournal.com]

Sorry you're not having fun anymore... I'm not really sure what to tell you other than it's probably not the hobbies per se so much as your perception/expectation of them. At least in my opinion. Which is frequently wrong.

BUt if you're not ST'ing, this frees you to play the pair of serial killers with me, right? 8P

[silas7.livejournal.com]

There is an expectation on some of the hobbies, especially the more competitive ones. I have an expectation that I should be performing better than I am, because of my years of practice. I've been focusing on getting "better" at them, so I can be seen as a local "expert", but in pursuing that the hobbies have lost much of their fun. And then it bothers me when I want to quit the hobbies, as others who play don't have to quit.

I still need some time to process.

[alex-victory.livejournal.com]

This isn't surprising at all, I've seen it in many, many hobbies. The more involved you get into something, the harder it is to take pleasure in the simplest aspects of it. The biggest Star Wars fans hated Episode 1. The biggest wrestling fans hate the current WWF product.

I believe the appropriate term is "jaded"?

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

That's one word for it. When you first are exposed to something, it becomes imprinted in your mind. Anything that changes or deviates from your "snapshot" becomes inferior.

In the same vein of "it's not the end of the world if they say no", you can say "it's not the end of the world if you don't win once, or ten times." You can't just give up after a few bad experiences.

There's something to be said for running into a brick wall head first, too.

[alex-victory.livejournal.com]

Well, there's running into a brick wall... and then there's throwing yourself at a wall of swords, hoping that THIS time you'll break through it instead of getting torn asunder.

Just riffing off your imagery in my sleep-deprived brain, pay no attention...

[cris.livejournal.com]

well, as you posted in a previous entry: perhaps it's just time to take a break. Give yourself the opportunity to explore other methods of spending your time. If you find something else that you enjoy doing, then great. If not, then the time spent and the perspectives gained might restore some of the novelty to your gaming experiences.

A break might also give you a chance to sort out what else might be bugging you and interfering with your hobbies.

just my $.02.

[silas7.livejournal.com]

There's a level of fear in taking a break. I have a compulsion to fill my free time with doing things that I like. If I sit down for an afternoon doing nothing more than watching TV or reading, it feels like I've wasted the day. Perhaps that's a mental trap that could bear dismantling. As busy as our lives our, having time to do Nothing is a joy that should be savored.

Last weekend was a small step in that direction. This weekend I'll be missing a wargaming tournament to help friends move... and having a cookout afterwards! A nice break of routine indeed.

[agoodshinkickin.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel.
Wanna go to GenCon in the summer and be dorks with people we don't know?

[silas7.livejournal.com]

I probably won't be going to Gen Con, but I will be going to Dragon Con in Atlanta for said dorkery. Plus meeting old friends from the year before, and seeking another kiss on the cheek from Regina (of the Changlings).

And to see what Buffy stars will be on the panel.

[cosmicserpent.livejournal.com]

Sometimes you just need a break from your hobbies. Sometimes that break needs to be permanent. You are always changing, evolving, etc. So it's perfectly natural to have your tastes and interest change over time. Like cris said, take a break and sort things out. I thought I'd always be reading comics, collecting sports cards, and gaming, but then I pretty much stopped all three. I never thought I'd go out dancing in a million years and now that's one of my biggest hobbies. So yes, breaks are good.

Changes

[silas7.livejournal.com]

It's interesting that some hobbies change over time, but not others. I don't hear about people going through phases with sports. "Yeah, I used to watch hockey but I outgrew it." It's something about gaming that's different. Maybe because it's more time immersive. Watching hockey is passive, rolling dice is active.

I suppose if something is a big part of yourself, it will remain constant. As an analogy, some people might game to be something bigger than themeselves, because they aren't crazy about who they are. Once they are more comfortable with themselves, they spend less time wanting to be someone else, and go and have their own real life "adventures". You're right, your desires and interests do change over time. Better to let it go and move on, but that can be hard, when you have invested a lot of your life in something, and don't know what lies ahead of you.

Which is pretty much life, in a nutshell. A nutshell the size of a SUV.

Geek as I say not as I do

[dirtymikesell.livejournal.com]

Your drunken sage DirtyMikesell says if your not having fun step back and time out, try something new then return to those things that you loved in the past. Then you'll know if it's something you wish to give up. It sounds to me that you are becomming too competitive, that winning is the only way you can enjoy the activity, ie, the warhammer and the cards.
Perhaps you need to try some for-fun-games with friends and such that are low key. Then you can gauge weather yo wish to truly give up your hobbies.
I have gone through cycles, I swore I wouldn't LARP again, then I didn't play for ever. But I felt the erge to try again and went for it. I have enjoyed most of the play I have doen, and will try again soon.

I will support almost any disicion you make, cause I'm that sort of guy.
By the by you ought to intorduce me to more of your firends so i can embarrass you early and often.

Re: Geek as I say not as I do

[silas7.livejournal.com]

I was/am far too competitive. I began to feel that I was owed success. I put my time in, I deserve to be good. That's exactly the attitude that I HATE in the workplace: seniority should not be replace actual talent. Why should I apply that to my hobbies?

Everyone likes to win. But I didn't start playing Warhammer or Jyhad to win tournaments. I liked the cards, I like painting the figures and duking it out. There's thrills to be had in winning, but there can be satisfaction in defeat too. Or, you can just not give two shits and throw some dice, and enjoy the ebb and flow of battle.

My games of 40k have been low key, and a lot of fun. Giving all of the hobbies up is really tough. Perhaps I could pair back from one or two, or just skip some tournaments for a while. Then either try returning, or just not bother. I won't cash in all my books or cards yet, until I feel nothing for them anymore.

[king-of-none.livejournal.com]

Take a break. Try some new stuff n the meanwhile. Trust me on this. You may find yourself returning to some of your game hobbies later, with better perspective, and feeling refreshed. Alternately, you may find you have no real interest in playing anymore.

Either way, you're bound to feel a lot less burned out.

[silas7.livejournal.com]

A win win situation.

There's a sense of sadness, don't you think, in leaving something you've invested time, sweat, and tears in isn't there? By leaving, it feels like the time you've invested has been wasted. But, if you can look back and good times and good memories, then even if the experience was sour when you left, the time was not wasted.

I'm just lacking a new venue to explore at the moment. But I won't know how to fill that time, if I don't free some of it up. And it's not like I'm leaving anything forever... necessarily.