jchrisobrien | (no subject)

I'm less tired today than I was yesterday. This makes no sense, as I was awake until about 2:30, then woke up at 6:30, and finally at 7. I'll be taking a half day today, because I need to get a street parking permit for my car, and contest the ticket I got on Thursday.

The new VNV Nation album is ... unexpected. There's a lot more variety in musical styles, but some of it is very.... sissified. Techno hippie would be a little more accurate. I initially hated it, but some of the songs grow on me. Treat it with an open mind if you get it, or ask to listen to my copy.

Flirting is an odd custom. It varies from person to person how they use it. Some people flirt with people they aren't interested in at all, because it's safe. Some use flirting as a way of testing for potential interest. And some interpret any flirtation as actual attraction. And so many levels of flirting! from just commenting that someone is cute, to soliciting for group sex. Like far too many words in our language, there are a million definitions, and no one can agree on them. This bothers the hell out of me, I like for everything to be on the same page. Sometimes I think flirting is a way of showing that you are interested in a person. You wouldn't tell someone you found them attractive if you didn't, right? I also don't think you can flirt with someone w/out have at least having the thought that if conditions were right, you would actually consider it.

Flirting can also just be complimentary. It's always nice to have someone flirt with you, it 's esteem boosting, and can really lift your day. Unless you wonder if they are serious or not, or read into things. But if people use flirting as a way to see if you are interested, and you just ignore it, then you miss out on things.

So, what are your thoughts on flirting?

I'll get to my 15 things soon enough...

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>Sometimes I think flirting is a way of showing
> that you are interested in a person.
>You wouldn't tell someone you found them
>attractive if you didn't, right?

Poo on you!
I tell Marvy she's attractive all the time. And would you like to guess the odds /we'd/ ever get together again?

Flirting is many things to many people.
And as usual, you are overthinking things!

Bah! I point no fingers. You got to ask the big questions, when you blessed with this guy's thirst for knowledge.

You can be interested in someone, and still not at on it or go out with them.

The statement is that flirting is an acknowledgement of attraction. Think of who you do flirt with, and who you don't.

I've had this thought rolling around in my head for some time, and just recently unleashed it in my journal, because I was interested in hearing what people's thoughts were on it.

I was the kind of guy who would take ANY flirtation as outright attraction. I'm learning that that's not the case. ;)

*chuckles* I suppose there are levels of attraction. But I prefer to see flirting and more a sign of comfort level with a person and being willing to let your guard down a little.

But that's just me.

And if you end up with Eliza-clone, I expect you and PG-13 to find me an Amy clone!!!

I think I tend to see flirting more as a tool, or a probe for information, to gauge a response.

I said probe. And tool.

You see? all our definitions are different. I want more words, and fewer variations. Other languages have 16 ways of saying love, and each word has different implications. I want that kind of precision with speech, because then there's less interpretation issues. Everyone know's what's up.

clones? Share the wealth, that's what I say. I'll keep my eyes open.

I've discussed this a lot with people over the past couple of years, because we know many flirty people. I personally, can flirt without having it be a kinda foreplay- like a friendly flirt. Thing is my "I really wanna do you" flirt is different from my friendly flirt. And I think I make the shift clear- like, people know when I'm just friendly flirting. Then again, that could be in my head.
When jhimm flirts, it means "I wanna do you." Period. So me and my grey areas may not be the best way to go, but I seem to default to that.

I like to be flirted with -- it makes me feel good about myself because someone thinks I'm at least interesting enough to spend their time flirting with me. Maybe they're really flirting with the hopes of getting a blow job, but that's not my problem.

I always try to return the flirt with at least a smile, too, since it sucks to flirt and get an icy stare in return. I don't want to make some random stranger (who thinks I'm interesting) feel bad.

Most of the time, flirting is fun and friendly and that's it, but I'm afraid to try it with people who might think it means something more than it does. It's a tragedy when people aren't on the same page about these things.

wow...so many different takes and ideas on this one.

i think to accurately answer the question, i'd have to have the word "flirt" definied - being someone who feels she cannot flirt to save her life, but who also gets called flirtatious, it's an interesting problem. i got into this conversation with a friend a while back, and we basically realized that what he called "flirting," i called "flirting with intent."

what my friend considers "flirting," i consider just being social - joking around, making conversation, saying hello. there isn't always much to say to a stranger, so if what is said isn't the most deep and insightful comment ever it's a lot more fun if the conversation is entertaining. as for flirting with friends, it's always nice to feel appreciated, or to make someone else feel appreciated...i definitely see it as a sign of comfort, of happiness to see someone, of being in a good mood.

what i consider flirting - being social with a specific, often sexual, goal in mind - i've never been able to do. if i think someone is cute, sure, i can talk to them. if i think someone is cute and i want to get coffee, or exchange email addresses, or something like that...i just freeze up. i might even avoid that person, if i don't already know them. i've never hit on anyone in my entire life (by this definition); the closest i've come was asking for a phone number once when i was 18. i got it, but the experience still didn't teach me anything about being more forward.

i guess i've just generally exploited the priveledge afforded my gender in stereotypical hetero interactions - although admittedly, given the type of people i'm generally attracted to, it doesn't always work :P. if it weren't for that, i'd probably still never have been kissed....

I have to agree with this definition of flirting. I like having friendly joking conversations, but I'm always a bit worried that someone's going to take them the wrong way by thinking I'm flirting with intent. When I try to do that, or find myself wanting to do that, I get all awkward and feel like I'm making a hash out of it. From the inside, flirting with intent feels like I'm exerting more effort, it's harder. I tend to assume friendliness rather than flirting when conversation is directed at me, unless it's an obvious pick up situation. I am agressively oblivious. :)

I'm so terrible with interpersonal relations that I don't know when I'm flirting. I assume I never do, but I've been told later that I was. I can usually recognize when someone's flirting with ME though. Happens so rarely that it's easy to pick out.

Yeah...she asks you to save her from Tang ;)

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