jchrisobrien ([personal profile] jchrisobrien) wrote2001-08-16 11:59 am

Put up your dukes

Last night DarkAngel was playing in the front room of ManRay, and I danced to it. As I listened to the lyrics I only come here bringing peace it reminded me of the time when I heard this song, and got into a brawl with some tourist. The first fight I'd been since since I stop taking martial arts, with me 4 years out of shape, not having thrown one punch or kick.
I while back a friend of mine almost got into a fight when leaving ManRay. And just the other day, another friend narrowly avoided a confrontation while going to the movies.
In their cases, they walked away from the issue, no fighting occurred.
Conventional wisdom says that the bigger thing to do is to walk away from the fight. Don't validate their position, don't start the cycle of revenge, don't stoop to their level.
What conventional wisdom doesn't deal with is how to handle the feelings you have afterwards. The inadequacy because you backed down to someone. The fear that you aren't able to defend yourself. The rage that you have to let some ass hole spew his venom and stupidity.
I think everyone should get into at least two fights in their life. One of them you should lose. This shows you that not matter how good you are in martial arts or boxing or whatever, that you aren't invincible. You also experience the reality of being hit; it's not a shock to you anymore. You survive the fight and know you can take it. The other fight you should win. This shows you that you aren't a victim, that you can defend yourself. And it shows you that you CAN win a fight. So that you don't have to get into a fight to defend your manhood, or your pride. That you don't have to get into another fight.

[identity profile] kwigz.livejournal.com 2001-08-16 09:30 am (UTC)(link)
i used to work at man ray back in the 80's. :o)

[identity profile] lizerk.livejournal.com 2001-08-16 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
I was a bouncer there in the Fall / Winter of '98...! I bet it was cool there in the 80's!!!

Re:

[identity profile] kwigz.livejournal.com 2001-08-16 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
i worked there a wee bit after the hey day, but i did hang out there when the now "retro" stuff was current! :o)

[identity profile] lizerk.livejournal.com 2001-08-16 10:43 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, how COOL! I've always been into the house / trance / dance stuff in the front, but I like being wisked away to my "early days" via the back room...

I bet you were probably there when ManRay and Campus were two separate venues...!! That's so awesome! I was living in NY and about 9 years old back then...