Was that even me?

If I was out Wednesday night watching me at Xcess, I wouldn't have recognized myself. The night started with Michael introducing me to a girl that I've know for over ten years in the club scene without officially meeting. Things went crazy when Douglas showed up. We chatted and talked, and the same girl started flirting with him and trying to poke him. Douglas immediately hid behind me and told her I was his bodyguard. I nonchalantly fell into that role, and for the next few minutes she kept trying to sneak past me, with me blocking and grabbing her arms. It was all weird and playful and completely on instinct. About ten minutes later, I repeated the scene with an entirely different girl. After two days of grappling with financial stress, it was a huge amount of fun and the most relaxed I've been at that space. Ever. Who is this guy?