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Can you taste it?
Nov. 20th, 2008 02:19 pmFour or five hours from now, my parents will be in town. They usually visit in the summer, but things didn't pan out. I have some plans on places to take them, but I might find it hard to move my dad away from my new TV set *grins*. Some years the visits have been more awkward than others, but this time around I'm really looking forward to their coming up.
My parents have always down right by me. We had some epic fights (well, I can only think of two), but they have always been supportive of me, and encouraged me in my hobbies, whether it's saxophone, scouting, even my gaming. Mom kept pushing me to be a writer, but while I never went down that road, I still keep my storytelling skills sharp. If there was any flaw in the way they raised me, it's that I wasn't "tough" enough. If I didn't wan to do something, they would just let me give it up. I can imagine that my life would have ended up very differently if I didn't have such low esteem in my formative years.
It's not a total loss though. Compassion and tolerance are strengths, even if they don't seem so at large. Self confidence has come, in it's own time and place. It came from me, and my decisions. Rather than find the strength through other people, I found it in myself. Sure I have great friends, and great parents, and even some good enemies who helped shape things, but in the end I made the choices. I continue to make them to this day. So, one year shy of my official entrance into middle age, I feel I'm coming into my own. I felt the awesomness all weekend, when I could be a supportive ear to friends during a movie. I felt the humor and reaped the rewards with an underdog list winning against a tougher opponent. I basked in the glow and heat coming from the dance floor, and from the body that pressed against mine. I heard it in the laughter on Sunday, and in the silence too.
Each day is enjoyable. Whether I'm dashing from spin jam to heroes to Ceremony, or sitting at home painting and watching South Park, each day is a tasty treat with it's own flavor. Let the banquet commence.
My parents have always down right by me. We had some epic fights (well, I can only think of two), but they have always been supportive of me, and encouraged me in my hobbies, whether it's saxophone, scouting, even my gaming. Mom kept pushing me to be a writer, but while I never went down that road, I still keep my storytelling skills sharp. If there was any flaw in the way they raised me, it's that I wasn't "tough" enough. If I didn't wan to do something, they would just let me give it up. I can imagine that my life would have ended up very differently if I didn't have such low esteem in my formative years.
It's not a total loss though. Compassion and tolerance are strengths, even if they don't seem so at large. Self confidence has come, in it's own time and place. It came from me, and my decisions. Rather than find the strength through other people, I found it in myself. Sure I have great friends, and great parents, and even some good enemies who helped shape things, but in the end I made the choices. I continue to make them to this day. So, one year shy of my official entrance into middle age, I feel I'm coming into my own. I felt the awesomness all weekend, when I could be a supportive ear to friends during a movie. I felt the humor and reaped the rewards with an underdog list winning against a tougher opponent. I basked in the glow and heat coming from the dance floor, and from the body that pressed against mine. I heard it in the laughter on Sunday, and in the silence too.
Each day is enjoyable. Whether I'm dashing from spin jam to heroes to Ceremony, or sitting at home painting and watching South Park, each day is a tasty treat with it's own flavor. Let the banquet commence.
