(no subject)

The last two weeks have been very frustrating.  Friendship explosions, horrible dice, not getting things done at work.  Even when I try to get into work on time, I don't succeed.  Thankfully there's not much going on this weekend, because I really can't put up with anymore.  I can barely even muster the courage to type all of this up right now.  I'm doing it anyhow. 

There's a lot of things I wanted to happen.  I wanted my interest returned.  I want to prove that you don't need to be a tool to win a game. I want to succeed.  It' been doing my nut in that none of this is working out, and I"m  tired of beating my face into a brick wall. 

I will go back to the clubs.  If certain people are uncomfortable by that, they can go the fuck home.
I'm not playing any more games with my list.  I'm going to fly to Florida in a few weeks, sit by a pool, drink lots of pina coladas, and not get eaten by fire ants.
I'm going to see some unusual films, walk around a new city, and forget about my life in Boston for a weekend.

I might, at some point, even put down that scalpel that I've been using to cut into myself over and over and over for years.