Onward

Yesterday was grim. My tax returns were much lower this year, in fact I will own money on one of them. Because the government isn't taking taxes out of my unemployment money. Here's the catch 22. If they take taxes out, I will be broke in about a month's time. If they don't I will be fine for now, but likely owe them lots of money later. And if I don't get a job at all? I will be deeply in debt.

I've been great about limiting my debt. I haven't had a credit card in over four years. My only payments outside of bills are student loans and my car (which should be paid off in a year). My school loans are consolidated and are out of deferment. If I don't hear anything in a few weeks I'm going to start applying for retail jobs.

For most of the afternoon, after that realization, I was floored. All I could see was my leaving Boston to go home and live in the much cheaper town of York, away from everyone I knew up here. Or working at Wal-Mart forever. I wanted to quit all my gaming and other hobbies and do nothing but crank out resumes. Which I did. And when I was done I was still upset, because there was no immediate answer.

But you know all this. Many of you have been though it. Many of you have been through it several times. I'm doing the best I can, sending out resumes, looking online and offline, and trying to keep my mind off of the end of April that is fast approaching. I will look into temp agencies again, and review my finances to see how much money I need to make to just live here. By my reckoning, I need 25K at a minimum. It's a far cry from what I was making, but it will allow me to stay in Boston. Baring that, I will also start considering living in the extreme suburbs, or Providence.

When I have a job again, I will child myself for letting my fears get the better of me.

Leaving the cloud

Many thanks to all the well wishers out there.

I started pulling myself out of my black mood from yesterday. More little projects around the house, including writing the first draft of the book review that I've been commissioned to do. Once I get a little feedback, I'll finalize it so I can get paid. Every little bit helps after all.

I called DET, and they said my check went out today, late due to snow and holidays. My weekend plans have been solidified, it should be a pretty good time. This week has mostly been in seclusion, due to either the weather or my mood. For a change, I may head out this Friday. Usually I tend to have a pretty bad night. But with the right mindset and little luck, things could look up.