Silliness

Amusing little story.

I've been interested in losing about 10 pounds. I don't think Im fat or anything, I excercise a lot and am in pretty good shape. It's that inevitable gain that comes when your metabolism slows down and you get older... ok, it bugs me a little. What bugs me the most is my stomach. It really juts out. There are times when it looks like I'm pregnant! And it seems to be based on my body structure not on my actual weight. I have a sunken chest (which led my parents to thinks I may have Morfan's syndrome when I was in high school, and earned me trip to John Hopkins in Baltimore) which really enunciates my stomach.
So while I'm trying to reconcile this sad fact which may be beyond my control, I take a closer look in the mirror. I straighten my shoulders a little, stop slouching, carry myself a little more upright. And most of it goes away. Not all of it, but it no longer looks like I'm about to give birth. So, as it turns out, my biggest problem is a matter of perception.
What a surprise *grin*

PS - Yes it's silly that I'm worried about my weight. But I have nothing more serious to complain about right now. Not that I'm asking for it!

PPS - I still want to lose the 10 pounds, just to see what difference it makes. If there's no recognizable change, I'll gladly put it back on. :)

Last Rights

I'm in morning for the Death of Fuse.

Fuse was the front room at ManRay. Fuse was a industrial/EBM/techno night spun by an old co-worker and acquaintance of mine. Fuse was a 4 hour long collage of minimalist noise, guns/tanks/explosions, slick new synthpop, and ragged oldies that still get your blood racing and fist pumping. Fuse pandered to techno and phat pants, while nodding appreciativly at Skinny Puppy and Front 242. Fuse introduce me to Funker Vogt, Assemblage 23, Cenobita, Das Ich, Decoded Feedback, EON Project, ECraft, Evil's Toy, Flesh Field, Fluke, Haujobb, unreleased Manufacture, Negative Format, Din_Fiv, Pulse Legion, Velvet Acid Christ, Sielwof, and VNV Nation.

Fuse is now defuct. Terminated. Crashed. Dead.

The management has kicked DJ Fenris out. The official reason is that he asked him to turn down the music too many times. Who knows what the real reason is; money, personal grudge, whatever. The end result is the same.

Why does this piss me off so much? It's not that I'm a slave to ManRay, that I must go out every night to be cool or any of that shit. It's because I love to dance. I love to hear new music when I go clubbing, instead of the same old shit over and over and OVER again. DJ Chris is stuck in a rut, has been for all the years I've lived up here. The past DJ's in the front have left me cold, either by playing the same shit as Chris, or playing music I hated. DJ Fenris played the music I knew and liked, and the music he knew I would like, even though I hadn't heard it yet. He was my digital prophet, my pusher of all things dark and stompy.

I've heard other DJ's, there are a number who spin very well and deserve to spin more often. Perhaps in time they will get that chance, and they can tune me in. Perhaps something else will come along and play new music. All things change in time, nothing is eternal, blah blah blah.

I'm sorry to see Fenris go. I'm angry that Fuse is gone. But I remember the nights of dancing deleriously, dancing til I couldn't see. I listen to the music that Fuse introduced me to. And I hope that something equally good comes along to fill the void.

Thanks for everything, Brad.

Shameless Thievery!

ChemicalWire posted this quiz.
Brigid's post brought it to my attention.
I'm not yet clever enough/too lazy to figure out how to make the cool hyperlinks yet.
All disclaimers aside, here we go:

i'm bored, so i'm taking his quiz

1. I am happiest when: I'm being hugged.

2. I feel lonely when: I'm tired or not had enough sleep.

3.The ideal relationship would be: one where my affection was returned.

4. Favorite movie (s): Seven, Silence of the Lambs, Big Trouble in Little China, the Empire Strikes Back (many others)

5. Favorite author: Steven Brust, Warren Ellis, Neil Gaiman, J. Gregory Keyes

6. What makes you cry: thinking I'll be alone forever.

7. Introvert or extrovert: Balaced between, but slipping to introvert when I get embarassed.

8. Do you think too much: Oh yes.

9. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be: Probably somewhere I havent' been yet.

10. A famous person you would like to meet: Joss Whedon

11. Do you believe in organized religion: I'd like to.

12. Pro-life or pro-choice: pro-choice

13. Are you a vegetarian: Omnivore

14. Do you support the death penalty: Until we can come up with a better solution.

15. Do angels or demons exist: I'd like to think so.

16. What would you most like to be doing right now: Sleeping

17. Do you have any regrets: I do, but I also recognize regret is pointless

18. Sex or love: This instant? Sex.

19. Favorite coffee: chai

20. Brand of cigarettes: N/A

21. Favorite scent: I honestly can't say.

22. What REALLY makes you mad: Humans.

23. Favorite way to waste time: Freecell. But I'm trying to stop.

24. If you won $50,000,000 what would you do with it: Divde it up 4 ways, give 1 share to each of my two sisters (they have kids) give 1 share to my parents (I honestly don't think they could spend it all, but they'd always get more if they needed it. Buy a large property near the red line for me and all my friends to move into. See the world.

26. What is your best quality: Humility. :)

27. Are you currently in love/lust: actually, no.

28. What's the craziest thing you have ever done: Impulse trip to Baltimore which ended with me in a fight in a really crappy bar.

there is no 29:

30. Any bad habits: Obsessing about my weight

31. Do you find it hard to trust people: I'm too trusting, actually

32. Do you ever doubt yourself: Are you kidding?

33. Last book you read: Transmetropolitan: Lonely City

34. Last thing you bought for yourself: see above.

33. Bath or shower: shower

34. Favorite season: autumn

35. Porn or erotica: erotica

36. What is your favorite flavor: strawberry

37. What is your favorite time of day: dusk (I'm such a copycat!)

38. Gold or silver: White Gold

39. What is the lamest pickup line someone has used on you: It's been too long for me to remember.

40. Silk sheets or cotton: Silk

41. Any secret crushes: two, kinda, not really I'm sure they are unrequited, so better not to ask

42. Do you ever feel you are insane: We all go a little mad, sometimes.

43. Favorite style of music: Industrial/EBM

44. Favorite film genre: Disturbing

45. If you could be the opposite sex for one day, would you do it: Yes.

46.What do you desire most in life: to be loved in return

47. Do you believe in destiny:I don't buy it. I believe in responsibility.

48.Is world peace attainable:Sure, if every asshole who felt the need to impose is beliefs on another culture or hated blindly up and died.

49. City or country: Both