jchrisobrien (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jchrisobrien) wrote2002-08-23 10:03 am
jchrisobrien) wrote2002-08-23 10:03 am
The doom that came to Boston
The corner grocer was empty, it was twilight out side, the crowds from before weren't present. I stared at the food on the shelves and thought: what would keep best? Dry goods, cans. No milk, it will sour w/out refrigeration.... oh Christ, when will I get to drink milk again? Do we even have a can opener?
Mom was calmly filling bag after bag with food. It's a good thing you work out, you're going to have to carry most of this. Then someone came into the store, the owner perhaps, old and stooped over, and for a moment I thought she was one of them, one of the Changed. She berated us as looters and vandals, and I could endure that, I'd been called a lot worse. But she wouldn't let up on my mother, calling her worse and worse names until I slammed her against the wall and told her in rich and colorful language just what I'd do to her if she didn't shut up. She was silent, staring daggers at me, but silent. I picked up the bags and walked towards the door. Thieves! If I were six inches taller and fifty pounds heavy, I'll kill you! Thieves!
I dug out my wallet and pitched it at her feet. Here, I spat at her. Have my bank card, take what you want. PIN's in there. It's not like I'm going to need it anymore.
***********************************
We made it the car, filled with family and food, the things that really mattered. I took every back street and side alley I could find on my way to the high way, but I needn't have bothered. The streets were choked with cars: a parking lot like I'd never seen in Boston before, and I'd been in some major back ups in my day. People darted between the cars, pleading, cajoling, spitting at each other. Cars rushed and pushed forward, edging each other off the road, crushing bodies between them. Drivers were pulled from their cabs of their trucks and pummeled and beaten and shot. SUV's plunged off the side and tried to off-road it. I stopped the car and turned it off. We were all silent. We wouldn't run and scream, we wouldn't panic. We could feel it happening. The Change. The air was thick inside the car, windows rolled up to keep out the din and what ever was out there, in the air. But we were Changing anyhow. I tried to cry, to shed one last tear, but I was beyond grief. There was only a void inside me, the complete and utter lack of hope, the cold certainly that Everything was Going to Change....
I was woken this morning by a cold wind blowing through the room, not just pulled by my fan. It was cold and wet. I shivered and turned off the fan. The world was eerily silent. The sky was a strange light grey color, not the normal hazy blue of the past weeks. I remembered all that I had dreamt of before. And I shuddered.
Mom was calmly filling bag after bag with food. It's a good thing you work out, you're going to have to carry most of this. Then someone came into the store, the owner perhaps, old and stooped over, and for a moment I thought she was one of them, one of the Changed. She berated us as looters and vandals, and I could endure that, I'd been called a lot worse. But she wouldn't let up on my mother, calling her worse and worse names until I slammed her against the wall and told her in rich and colorful language just what I'd do to her if she didn't shut up. She was silent, staring daggers at me, but silent. I picked up the bags and walked towards the door. Thieves! If I were six inches taller and fifty pounds heavy, I'll kill you! Thieves!
I dug out my wallet and pitched it at her feet. Here, I spat at her. Have my bank card, take what you want. PIN's in there. It's not like I'm going to need it anymore.
***********************************
We made it the car, filled with family and food, the things that really mattered. I took every back street and side alley I could find on my way to the high way, but I needn't have bothered. The streets were choked with cars: a parking lot like I'd never seen in Boston before, and I'd been in some major back ups in my day. People darted between the cars, pleading, cajoling, spitting at each other. Cars rushed and pushed forward, edging each other off the road, crushing bodies between them. Drivers were pulled from their cabs of their trucks and pummeled and beaten and shot. SUV's plunged off the side and tried to off-road it. I stopped the car and turned it off. We were all silent. We wouldn't run and scream, we wouldn't panic. We could feel it happening. The Change. The air was thick inside the car, windows rolled up to keep out the din and what ever was out there, in the air. But we were Changing anyhow. I tried to cry, to shed one last tear, but I was beyond grief. There was only a void inside me, the complete and utter lack of hope, the cold certainly that Everything was Going to Change....
I was woken this morning by a cold wind blowing through the room, not just pulled by my fan. It was cold and wet. I shivered and turned off the fan. The world was eerily silent. The sky was a strange light grey color, not the normal hazy blue of the past weeks. I remembered all that I had dreamt of before. And I shuddered.
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This disturbing things about the dreams were the ways that my lower self prevailed: panic, not caring that others were dying as long as I was safe, resorting to violence... at least I paid the storeowner in the end.
And I don't know whether I gave in to my fate at the end, or chose not to panic and accept it.
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i think sometimes we have to see what our lower selves would do in order to avoid those actions in the waking world.
stay good, man.
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Dude. You keep your PIN in your wallet? Is that wise?
I never have nightmares anymore. I miss having nightmares. I lvoe waking up all sweaty and terrified and thinking there's a little dead girl standing just inside the half-open door of my closet, watching me sleep.
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Any thought as you why you don't have nightmares anymore?
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