Consequences

[jchrisobrien]

Not surprisingly, I pissed people off.
Not surprisingly, I lost some friends.
Not surprisingly, some people are too sensitive. Including me.

The post is gone. If you missed, you didn't miss anything worth seeing. If you were offended by it, I apologize. I snapped. If you were hurt by what I said, well you aren't the only one who was hurt. If you think I'm even capable of what I said, well, you don't know me.

I swear, this week will be the death of me. Any happiness I gained at the psytrance night was completely removed by events surronding Episode II. and the subsequent events of tonight. I shouldn't feel threatened or belittled when other cast disparaging remarks on my hobbies and interests. I should just let them have their say, because their opinons don't matter right? They aren't more valid than mine, right? I wish I believed that. But that's the way the world works. Everyone has the freedom to say whatever they want. My only option, if I don't like what is being said, is to get up and move away.

I've been talking about taking vacations, and hermitages. Ideally, I should just disappear. Drop my mailing lists. Shut down my journal, or remove my friends and make things private. Go on a complete retreat from the world, and sort myself out.
That is running from the problems though, and not resolving them.

But you know, fine. Hate me. Be pissed. Do what you have to do.

Comments

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

Taking a break is proving harder than I thought. I don't assume that they are attacks. I get tired of hearing everybody say negative things all the time. If I get tired of it, then I should probably be the one to leave. On the other hand, I was taught if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. People seem to take great joy in cutting things down, why not take joy in building things up?

Part of me says you really have to see some of my dice rolling to understand how frustrated I get. Part of me SHOULD understand how very little these games matter. I think you start measuring your self worth by your successes. When you start doing that, you begin to set yourself up for a big fall. One shouldn't measure their self worth by how well they roll d6s.

Which attitudes specifically have/are bothering you?

[silentq.livejournal.com]

Re: building things up versus tearing down. I see your point. I seem to recall that in various discussions there were positive things being said, maybe just not as loudly as the negative ones.

Re: attitudes. I get uncomfortable when you start snapping etc. when we're playing dnd. F. was rolling pretty abysmally this last game, and I think all of the party has been hit by friendly fire due to 1's coming up. I dunno. I enjoy when people roll play the bad dice rolls (dropped frying pans come to mind :) ).

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

1. It's a sad thing that I don't give the good things their proper credit. That's something else I have to do.

2. My snapping there is a carryover from Warhammer. I've lost track of the number of times that perfect tactics, maneuvers, and the like are ruined by some bad dice rolls.
You have a good point about role playing the bad dice rolls. If I apply that same logic to Warhammer, it will probaly help my attitude immensely. Thanks for the tip!

I'd love to talk about this more over tea and/or dal bat. Does tomorrow work well for you?