Consequences

[jchrisobrien]

Not surprisingly, I pissed people off.
Not surprisingly, I lost some friends.
Not surprisingly, some people are too sensitive. Including me.

The post is gone. If you missed, you didn't miss anything worth seeing. If you were offended by it, I apologize. I snapped. If you were hurt by what I said, well you aren't the only one who was hurt. If you think I'm even capable of what I said, well, you don't know me.

I swear, this week will be the death of me. Any happiness I gained at the psytrance night was completely removed by events surronding Episode II. and the subsequent events of tonight. I shouldn't feel threatened or belittled when other cast disparaging remarks on my hobbies and interests. I should just let them have their say, because their opinons don't matter right? They aren't more valid than mine, right? I wish I believed that. But that's the way the world works. Everyone has the freedom to say whatever they want. My only option, if I don't like what is being said, is to get up and move away.

I've been talking about taking vacations, and hermitages. Ideally, I should just disappear. Drop my mailing lists. Shut down my journal, or remove my friends and make things private. Go on a complete retreat from the world, and sort myself out.
That is running from the problems though, and not resolving them.

But you know, fine. Hate me. Be pissed. Do what you have to do.

Comments

[silentq.livejournal.com]

I was offended by that post. Not because I thought you'd do something like that, but because of my past experiences with people who would. Bad memories were stirred up.
That said, I know that I'm thin skinned, and I applied my 24 hour rule before responding, and was able to gain some perspective on it. I'd have liked to have had the oppurtunity to re-read the post though

*stops and takes a deep breath* The following is not meant to be an attack, 'kay?

It seems to me that lately you've been taking a lot of things personally. Maybe it is time to take a break and get things in perspective. Big events will generate big discussions, everyone will have an opinion, and there are other people who see things the same way you do. They may not say anything, or they may be "under seige" with you. People may post off hand remarks disparaging something you like, and if it upsets you, call them on it and give them a chance to reword or defend themselves. Don't assume that it's an attack.

If a person's not a gracious loser, they're not going to be fun to be around when they lose. And no one wins all the time.

*hops off her soapbox*

I'm still your friend, I just wanted to let you know that I've had some problems with some of your attitudes lately and I thought it wouldn't be good to let this fester.

[atalanta.livejournal.com]

Ah, ok, _that_ post .. I did see that. I also wish you (silas) had left out that particular part.

I don't think there's really any "losing" involved though .. it's just that you've _got_ to realize that an attack on something you like does not necessarily have anything to do with you as a person. I know that some people do go for the "if you like that you must be stupid" attitude, but I don't think our mutual friends and acquaintances are that way.

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

I apologized for my callous remark. I am often the company of people who use such callousness on a regular basis, and I forgot myself. I am not that person, and I don't resort to those remarks.

I won't even try to defend myself.

Yes, I'd better learn that lesson. Or I will begin to lose people I care about as friends, and it will be my fault.

I still think people shouldn't be as negative as they are. I shouldn't have to be the only responsible one. But I do need to toughen up, and remember it.

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

Taking a break is proving harder than I thought. I don't assume that they are attacks. I get tired of hearing everybody say negative things all the time. If I get tired of it, then I should probably be the one to leave. On the other hand, I was taught if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. People seem to take great joy in cutting things down, why not take joy in building things up?

Part of me says you really have to see some of my dice rolling to understand how frustrated I get. Part of me SHOULD understand how very little these games matter. I think you start measuring your self worth by your successes. When you start doing that, you begin to set yourself up for a big fall. One shouldn't measure their self worth by how well they roll d6s.

Which attitudes specifically have/are bothering you?

[silentq.livejournal.com]

Re: building things up versus tearing down. I see your point. I seem to recall that in various discussions there were positive things being said, maybe just not as loudly as the negative ones.

Re: attitudes. I get uncomfortable when you start snapping etc. when we're playing dnd. F. was rolling pretty abysmally this last game, and I think all of the party has been hit by friendly fire due to 1's coming up. I dunno. I enjoy when people roll play the bad dice rolls (dropped frying pans come to mind :) ).

Re:

[silas7.livejournal.com]

1. It's a sad thing that I don't give the good things their proper credit. That's something else I have to do.

2. My snapping there is a carryover from Warhammer. I've lost track of the number of times that perfect tactics, maneuvers, and the like are ruined by some bad dice rolls.
You have a good point about role playing the bad dice rolls. If I apply that same logic to Warhammer, it will probaly help my attitude immensely. Thanks for the tip!

I'd love to talk about this more over tea and/or dal bat. Does tomorrow work well for you?